Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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