He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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