Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Randomize