just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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