i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
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