So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
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She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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