Don't you send me to vm
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
