Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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