just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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