Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
