this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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