those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
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I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
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I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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