We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
