I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
As shirtless as possible
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Randomize
