So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
