wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
