Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
