dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize