We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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