this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
