we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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