Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
