dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
