i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
