we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
we're so committed to being not committed
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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