I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
But break dance skills will only take you so far
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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