Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
