I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
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Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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