Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize