Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
did i walk over a car last night?
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
