She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
