I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
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I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
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Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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