well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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