He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
