South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
These 25 Teachers Said Horrible Things to Their Students
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
21 Millennials Confess The Most Awkward Way Someone Has Tried Hitting On Them
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to