Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
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you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
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It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.