I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.