she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
the day after is always just damage control
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
