just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
