i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Randomize
