The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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