He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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