All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
