I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
I have post one night stand depression
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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