Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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