we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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