omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
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He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
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I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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