3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Randomize
