he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
