I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize