I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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