i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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