how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
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