he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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