Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
