well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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