I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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