forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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