Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
