these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
