So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
