omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
people are starting to question the shark bite story
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
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