If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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